Starting to Live Today

(image found here)


So I am a bit of a control freak. I like to plan for everything, that way there are no surprises. This need for me to control things probably explains why my upcoming graduation has been freaking me out. Ever since we were little our parents plan for our future, we plan for our future, we know that after kindergarten there will be elementary school, and then middle school, and then high school, and then university, and then...? We spend so much time planning for our future that we never learn how to live in the present. I spent all of high school working hard and getting good grades in preparations for college, and then I spent all of my college years working hard so I could be prepared for... the real world?

Now that graduation is coming up I am supposed to actually start living in the present, because I can no longer plan for the future. My life is supposed to start. I am supposed to start living and no longer trying to stay 10 steps ahead. Ok technically I can, but I can no longer be as accurate as before, the future is no longer crystal clear. I am losing this supposed control and it is scary!!

So right now I am trying to enjoy my last weeks left at UCSD, really enjoy them, no longer preoccupied with the future and with what it may or may not hold. I am trying, against every grain in my body, to live in the present because I have lived worrying about the future for so long that I have neglected to truly enjoy the present.

"Today is the youngest you will ever be, so act like it" -- AJ from AJ's Playhouse(a local morning radio show)

Singing in the Rain

So lately I have been searching for inspiration about something to write and have been coming up empty. Not that there has not been anything happening in my life as of late, simply that I don't feel ready to write about what has been going on in my life lately.

So I stumbled upon this picture and it gave me the inspiration to write something.


I love the rain, unfortunately San Diego isn't exactly known for being a city were it rains a lot. In fact it rarely rains in San Diego. I don't know what it is about the rain that just makes life feel so comforting,there's something magical about rainy days. I love the sound it makes when it hits the roof, I love the way the lights reflect off of it at night, I love the smell of rain... I think you get my point, I love the rain.

Sometimes I wish I could take time out of my day to just stand outside with an umbrella and enjoying the rain fall, just like the girl in the picture.