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I was never in a rush to get my driver's liscence, I was scared of driving actually, but now 5 years later I have actually learned to love driving. I drive about 40 to 50 miles everyday, going to school, work, and back home. Driving has become an escape, it is the most relaxing time of day for me. Even when I am sitting in traffic, I still enjoy it. The sunny days, the windows down, the breeze flowing through my car, and my music playing through the stereo, it just makes me happy. There are days when I just want to drive and drive and drive, with no specific destination in mind, just drive until my heart is content. The road has become an escape, I used to hate driving, but now it has become this place of zen. It's not hard when I have the beautiful San Diego as my backdrop, it's hard not to smile when the sun is shining and reflecting off the ocean and the buildings of downtown San Diego.
A cup of tea always helps me study. I should really be focused on studying instead of writing on this blog but a distraction is always nice. So here goes my rant about tea.I love tea almost as much as I love coffee. I love drinking tea when I'm cuddled on my couch on a rainy day. Tea is the perfect companion to a good book. Tea on a bright sunny morning. Tea is so relaxing, it can slow down the day, and it makes me feel so grown up, haha. Today my bag of tea had a quote on it, it said "a friend is, as it where, a second self"--Cicero, i thought it was cute and it made me smile. So today take some time to slow down and have a cup of tea, it will surely put a smile on your face!*image found here*
So I'm a very insecure person, though I like to think that I hide it well. I'm never happy with the way a paper turns out, never happy with how any assignment really turns out for that matter, just never satisfied thinking that I don't measure up. I'm always thinking "what if it's not good enough?" "what if I'm not good enough?" I'm slowly learning to embrace these insecurities, to see them as something positive. Never being happy with an assignment is what makes me such a perfectionist. So I stumbled upon the following quote:
"life is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. the moment you know
how, you being to die a little. the artist never entirely knows. we guess. we may be wrong,
but we take leap after leap in the dark." agnes demille
I found the quote on this very inspiring blog (it's a must read!!! Girly with just the right amount of cheesy, and we can all use cheesy in our lives, my favorite where the posts where she writes to her "dreamy-husband-to-be," she's a hoot!!) and i thought it really spoke to the way I feel, to how I'm always unsure, and to how I'm becoming better at taking leaps in the dark, maybe not leaps, small steps, but eventually they will be leaps. I've never liked not knowing, I like to be in control, because the more in control the less surprises there will be, if I know then I can never be caught of guard. However, there is something exciting and almost child-like to making everything up as you go along, it's innocent and fun.
I've become better at embracing the unknown, at welcoming it into my life with open arms. With graduation around the corner life is become less and less clearer. Suddenly, I am haunted with what feels like a precipice to no where, my next step is not there. My path had always been clear, and now I feel like Hansel and Gretel, and I'm stuck in a dark forest wondering where the bread crumbs went. Who ate all the bread crumbs that had clearly marked my path for the past 21 years?
So now I'm making my own path as I go along. I'm applying to grad school but the question that keeps haunting me is "what if I don't get accepted?" Again, my insecurities getting the best of me. So instead of wondering if I'm going to get in, I've begun to embrace the unknown, taking it one bread crumb at a time.
I love fridays because that means that the weekend is just around the corner, wooohooo!!!! This weekend is supposed to be sunny and warm, unfortunately I'm going to be stuck studying for finals. However, seeing as how it is going to be sunny and warm, I think that I'm going to enjoy the nice weather and study in my backyard for a while. I can enjoy the sounds of nature. I always like sitting in my backyard, it's a place for quiet, a place of solitude, somewhere in which the world just slows down. We live in such a fast-pace world that never slows down, and if you don't keep up then you get left behind, having a place to just enjoy the quiet and the calm is much needed, there are no expectations when it is calm and that can be very refreshing. Maybe some time in the quiet outdoors is just the motivation I need to finish out the quarter strong! So this weekend I am looking forward to the nice weather and enjoying some quiet, peaceful time outdoors.
Once finals are over I think I'm going to take advantage of the beautiful weather and drive to the beach. While I love the peace and quiet in my backyard, there is nothing that compares to the peace and calming feeling that come from hearing the tide crash against the rock, the murmur of the waves, the smell of the air, and the refreshing feel of the wind against your face. Ah! Just thinking about it makes me feel calm already!
Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed I start daydreaming and think...
Right now though, I would love to just get lost in a good book, 2 more weeks, and then I get a break and I can start reading books of MY choosing, yay!!! I'm so excited!!
I have a love of school supplies, I love a new notebook, and pens, ooh I loooveee pens!! Black ink, and gel only please, haha. I'm always excited for a new quarter because I get to buy new school supplies, and I also get to buy books, I absolutely love new books, well all kinds of books, I love everything about them, specially their smell (yes I know, I'm weird). Along with new books I love journals, so the other day i stumbled upon this shop of this person that makes hand bound journals and some of them she does with new yorker covers and I thought "I must have it!" so I bought one, and I'm so excited, I will be checking my mailbox everyday!!!Here is what my journal looks like, I can't wait!! It's a person opening up a bookstore, and the neighbor just bought something from amazon, gotta love the irony!!
This is probably the best thing ever (ok, i'm exaggerating) , but it's a real life pink dolphin!!! For a girl that loves pink this is so awesome. You can find the article that explains this wonderful anomaly in science here. 
So I've decided that I will attempt to blog. I find this hard to do because I'm not one to ever really talk about myself. At least it can serve as another tool I can use to distract myself from the task at hand, like writing a paper or studying for a test. I guess this can also be a place where I can put my totally random ideas, thoughts, and fun random stuff that I encounter. So... here goes nothing :) .
